Reasons that normal people install Google Chrome

A quick reference for every stuck-up web app developer who can’t be bothered to support even the latest version of Internet Explorer:

No. 1. Didn’t untick the box when installing Adobe Reader or some other crap that Google have paid to push installs.

No. 2. Home page of world’s most popular search engine tells them it will make their Internet faster:

"ooh, faster intarwebs!"

No. 3. It was installed for them by a techie relative who was screaming about IE only being good for downloading other browsers.

No. 28: They were accosted by the EEA Browser Choice update and Google was the only name they’d heard of.

No. 1564: They made an active choice to install Google Chrome to take advantage of its superior HTML5 support.

Got it? Good. Because the next time you tell me that the reason so many people are moving away from Internet Explorer is because of HTML5 support, I will print off your email 100 times, screw those 100 copies into a giant ball, drive to your office, and cram it into a very uncomfortable place.

This is why I don’t let users change their own printer cartridges

I was in a classroom today when the teacher told me that they hadn’t used their printer in years because it was broken.

At least, I think that’s what they said, because whenever someone tells me they haven’t used a printer in years, what I hear is “Despite my annual protestations, I don’t actually need my own personal printer, please take it away”.

Which I did.

However, when I went to remove the cartridges for recycling, I found out why it didn’t work.

As much as I hate changing printer cartridges, I put up with it because this is the inevitable alternative.

Google not loading first time in IE11 via a web proxy on Windows 8.1? Turn off SPDY support.

Update 14/03/14: According to Microsoft, this problem is fixed in the March 2014 Cumulative security update for Internet Explorer. However, I was able to immediately reproduce the problem even after the update was installed, so the below still applies as far as I’m concerned.

As my former boss Bond once said, “If you’re going to live on the cutting edge, you’ve got to expect some blood”. One of the many joys of being an early adopter is finding stupid bugs before everyone else, and so as I began wide-scale testing of Windows 8.1 at my school, we found this one.

In a nutshell, pretty much every time we tried to load in Internet Explorer 11, we got a “This page can’t be displayed” message, yet the site would inexplicably load fine just by clicking refresh. We saw the same with other Google sites such as Gmail and Google Drive – but most sites seemed immune. Both the desktop and Modern UI versions of IE were affected.

Like most schools, our web access goes via an HTTP proxy so that content not suitable for the 5 year-old cherubs can be filtered out. We use Smoothwall, which is one of the better filtering products out there, but so many applications are not designed with proxy support in mind that it does occasionally cause problems. It’s very rare for any mainstream browser to have a problem with proxies, but when I bypassed it, the problem immediately went away. What was more curious was that we were already running Internet Explorer 11 on our Windows 7 workstations too, and they didn’t have any problems.

Read More…

Doesn’t even need a plug on it any more…

It’s a common complaint in school IT support departments that they are treated as general dogs-bodies there to help with any electrical appliance at all. VCRs, kettles, microwaves, desk lamps… the saying goes that “if it has a plug on it, it must be IT”.

Today set a new low for that sentiment, when I was asked to supply new AA batteries for an electric pencil sharpener.

Dear pupils trying to download Minecraft

After the 4th time in 2 minutes that the antivirus program blocks your Minecraft.exe download from a dodgy third-party site, you should perhaps take the hint that:

  1. that isn’t a legit copy of Minecraft, and
  2. that isn’t what you should be doing in an English lesson anyway.

The antivirus emails me when it blocks a threat. So I’ve had a few emails. Don’t be surprised if I remote view your screen, take some screenshots, and forward them to your teacher.


This afternoon I watched a pupil Alt+Tab between Google and Paint while he painstakingly redrew by hand a logo he had found on Google Images.

Either he’s never heard of copy & paste, or he’s taking respect for copyrighted images incredibly seriously.


It is a fact that on 9 out of 10 times the maintenance company comes in to look at our fire alarms, they will manage to set them off by accident without warning.

Sometimes they’ll do it out of term time, and only upset the holiday activities that everyone else forgot were on site

Sometimes they’ll do it in the early evening and irritate certain site residents who were in the shower after an entire day moving computer equipment.

And sometimes, they’ll do it right in the middle of a massive sports tournament while teams from 30 other schools are on site, leading to the Headmaster thundering across the school to the admin building like a bat out of hell to see whose backside needs kicking.


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,639 other followers