Unions

I joined a new union over the weekend, after reading about yet another school IT technician suspended from work pending the outcome of an investigation into them that they are not even allowed to be told the details of.

What this usually means is an allegation by a child, and while genuine cases do exist, they are the exceptional minority. Most cases like this are down to the increasingly and disturbingly popular trend of using such allegations as a method for pupils to exact revenge on staff who have reprimanded them.

Unions tend to have a poor reputation in the press due to the more militant unions taking unpopular or unfounded strike action. The recent postal worker strikes in the UK had scant public support, and strikes by London Underground staff make the majority of London commuters decidedly furious.

For school workers, the real strength of union membership has nothing to do with strikes, or even pay negotiations, but in the legal protection and advice you are entitled to if either a student or the school itself tries to shaft you. My opinion is that every member of school staff should be in a union if only for that reason. Think of it as career insurance. Union membership costs less per month than your broadband rental, and you do not need to have a union rep at your school to obtain assistance.

Which Union?

• State sector: UNISON (join) or GMB (join).

  In my last school, which was in the state sector, I was a member of UNISON. Also popular amongst school staff is the GMB. Find out which one is more popular with support staff in your school and join that one.

• Private sector: ATL (join).

  Since my move to the private sector I did not know which union to join, since the above only deal with state schools. Acting on advice found on EduGeek, I discovered that the ATL cover support and administrative staff working in private schools. I am now a member.

You can join any of these unions online by using the links above. It will take you less than 10 minutes and could one day save your reputation and career. Do it now.

Paint

We have the painters in at the moment.

That would be fine, except for the fact that I didn’t think there was any decorating going on in the school for another few weeks. I already knew about a small building project which required some IT equipment to be relocated, but it turns out I didn’t know about the other two classrooms across the hall that are being painted. This means I did not remove the interactive whiteboards in advance of swarthy men with paintbrushes being allowed to run rampant.

I am now the proud owner of two SMARTBoards that are covered in paint splatters.

Incommunicado

On the phone on my new desk is a Post-It note with a telephone number written on it. The previous Network Manager told me that this is the incoming number for my office.

After giving it out to a few people, I discovered today the number has in fact been disconnected. What’s more, the school’s receptionists have no recollection of there ever being a direct line to my office.

I have absolutely no idea what to make of this.

Proofreading

A few years ago, I had to do some proofreading for the school.

The material was the sixth form tutor reports that were about to be issued from our electronic reporting system for the first time. You might ask why I was proofreading them, and well you might. The teachers writing them had been asked to proofread each others, but had refused as “proofreading was not part of their job”. The position was that their own reports were perfect, so why should they have their time wasted proofreading someone else’s?

Bond’s opinion, to this very day, is that reports should be issued mistakes and all, so that the individual teachers who make the mistakes will be exposed for the illiterate morons they are. My opinion was that management should have told the teachers concerned to shut up and do their jobs. However, the school’s management, and the Head in particular, were unwilling to issue a diktat, but keen for the school not to look like it was staffed by nincompoops. This little dispute happened quite close to the deadline, so, one evening, I found myself proofreading.

Let’s solve everything with Technology #5

IT professionals, especially in schools, are frequently asked to address problems that are not technical in nature, but that someone has decided is best handled with a technical solution.

Our latest example comes from a staff member who has trouble distinguishing fiction from reality:

“Two laptops were borrowed from our department last week and were not returned. We have no idea where they are and would like you to put a trace on them.”

Sure. I’ll “put a trace on them”.

At least, I would, if that were not something that could only be done in movies. Here’s a better idea. Find out who took them, and ask that person where exactly they decided would be a good idea to leave them.

Retro computing

Overshare took a day off yesterday, but made two mistakes when he left the office the night before:

1. Left his laptop in the office
2. Left himself logged in

Given that he was already due some punishment for some decidedly schoolboy errors this week, Bond decided his unguarded laptop would be the medium through which his penalty would be exacted. Naturally, I was approached for ideas.

When Overshare came in this morning, this is what was waiting for him:

Expectation

We replaced a laptop battery this week after it had become worn out to the point where it lasted only about 15 minutes. I was slightly distressed to receive a ticket about it this afternoon:

“The new battery went flat after 3 hours use this morning… It has now been on charge for 2 hours and is reading fully charged as the charging light has just gone out. Not sure if it’s a faulty battery or something wrong with the laptop.”

This was from someone who has been looking after a classroom set of laptops for over a year, and had the performance of the entire rest of the set to compare it to.

This person is nuts.

Drunkeness

It is an unavoidable consequence of writing a blog that, eventually, one of your colleagues will leave drunken comments on it at 1am.

A discourse of insanity

This is a conversation I had over the phone today. I present it for your consideration in full, with only my name changed:

“IT Support, Angry Technician.”

“Comma Separated Values.”

“Yes?”

“CSV stands for Command Separated Values.”

“… yes.”

“I called up because I didn’t know what it was, I thought you’d like to know.”

“…OK, thanks.”

“Bye!”

Remember, I said in full. That was the entire conversation. To say I was baffled is an understatement.

Training

Today I ran an important IT training session for staff. It’s a training on computer security that has been described by many people who have already done it as very useful.

While it is now mandatory for all new starters, it’s taken nearly 6 months to get it put on a training day schedule so that existing staff can attend without interrupting their normal day.

Less than half the people who were supposed to be there even bothered to show up.

I had one apology.