Nothing is working

It’s a phrase I hate hearing.

“I turned the computer on and nothing is working.”

“I logged into my computer and nothing is working.”

“I tried to run Word and now nothing is working.”

Really? Nothing?

If the computer is powered on, then something is working. If your login is stuck halfway through but showing an error message, something is working. If Word has loaded up but isn’t reponsding, but everything else on the computer is fine, something is working. Granted, not everything is working, but something is, so how about giving me a description of the problem that’s a bit less ignorant, OK?

About The Angry Technician

The Angry Technician is an experienced IT professional in the UK education sector. Normally found in various states of annoyance on his blog. All views are those of his imaginary pet dog, Howard.

11 responses to “Nothing is working”

  1. Ellira says :

    Oh those messages make me want to cry. “The computer’s not working, it isn’t doing *anything*!!!”. Oh, so it’s just a black screen then? “When you log on it just does nothing!” It won’t let you use any programs? “When you open up Word, it crashes for no reason!” Did it give you an error message? “Yes, but I don’t know what it said.”

    I don’t understand how these people function in their daily lives. It’s like going to the doctor with an ingrowing toenail and announcing “I’m dying!” while swooning over his chair.

  2. windup says :

    I turned my mac on and guess wha, it’s frikkin working. oh yes mi bad boy stylee

  3. Sugar_Vortex says :

    Oh how i loathe all the idiots that say “It isn’t working”. If i were able to say what i was thinking then i would simply sum up my frustration in one sentence.
    “The computer is working, the only thing not working is you!”
    Maybe will more expletives but i wouldnt feel satisfied until they were a gibbering wreck

  4. Markbezza says :

    “Is the network down?” I think we’d know about it if it was….and surely you are no where near qualified enough to be making a statement like that.

  5. AngryTechnician says :

    The network is never down, but the Internet sometimes is, you know.

  6. andyt31 says :

    User : “Is the LAN down?”
    Me : You just sent this email to me….
    User : Oh, its working now.

    Im the one who works in IT. You cant tell me that the LAN is down! I will know way before you do! Thats what systems monitoring is for!

  7. johngirvin says :

    I love this one:
    “I think the server’s down”

    Which server do you think is down? Eh? The one that lets you watch YouTube? The one that lets you send megabyte sized pictures of cats embedded in PowerPoint presentations to the whole company? Do you even know how many servers we have?

    Tell me what’s not working and I’ll diagnose what the problem actually is. Thank you.

  8. Oddbloke says :

    Tee hee. When I read comments like this, I realise why office workers tend to be scared of their IT technician. Let’s keep it up, chaps! :)

  9. 1337tech ? says :

    Teacher: ive tried turning computer on and its not working
    ME: have made sure all the plugs are pluged in at the back and the sockets
    Teacher: yes i have can you come up stairs please ive got a class waiting

    walks up stairs straight to her room and pushed the power button on the computer
    Teacher: What did you do to make it work ????!!?!?!???!?
    ME: just pushed the power button on the computer

    FFS this is some one with a degree