“Is the network on a go-slow today?”

Oh my.

  1. No. The computers are not in a trade union, and are therefore not currently engaged in a ‘go-slow‘ protest.
  2. Overlooking your infantile command of the English language, the answer to your question is still ‘no’.

I’m not quite certain why I hate this particular phrase, but I do. I honestly want to slap anyone who says it.

Even when it’s not articulated in this fashion, the tendency of some people to inflate their problems to attract more attention is irritating. This isn’t quite the same as the people who say that “nothing is working“; that’s borne out of ignorance. This is a deliberate suggestion that the problem is affecting more than one person, and therefore is a higher priority. It’s almost certainly not, and when I have determined that beyond doubt, its priority will mysteriously drop lower still.

About The Angry Technician

The Angry Technician is an experienced IT professional in the UK education sector. Normally found in various states of annoyance on his blog. All views are those of his imaginary pet dog, Howard.

5 responses to ““Is the network on a go-slow today?””

  1. TSB says :

    I was just asked this very same question – although it was phrased “is the internet slow down this end of the room?”

    No – it is not.

    I agree with the ‘nothing is working’ comment to – decidedly unhelpful – it’s akin to going to your GP and saying ‘I’m broken’…

  2. Giles says :

    This makes me sad. All the time.

  3. AngryTechnician says :

    Down this end of the room” – this is fantastic. “Yes, sorry, we haven’t unclogged the network tubes of treacle today so it gets slowed down going all the way to that end.”

  4. Emanuel Crisp says :

    I often find that we get “none of the computers are working (in this computer suite)”. On further investigation, it is almost always 3 or 4 computers of the 30 with unrelated faults, usually relating to one of the power leads (TFT/PC) being disconnected at one end or other.

    “3 or 4 computers not working is pretty poor” you might think. The reality is that computer faults tend to be reported when:

    [number of computers in room] – [number of faulty computers] < [number of pupils in class]

    Up until that point, computer problems are resolved by moving children to a spare computer and the faulty computers are not reported.

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