Dear Digital Blue
Every piece of your software I have ever dealt with is utter rubbish.
For me, the torture began with the comically-named “Digital Blue Digital Movie Creator”, to which you had to add a redundant ‘digital’ to avoid never being able to sell the software to schools. Most recently, it was your dodgy QX-series microscopes. At every turn your products reveal themselves as cheap, gaudy, and developed by people who clearly have never read any of Microsoft’s application design guidelines, have almost no clue of how networked computer systems operate, and appear to have nothing but disdain for accepted principals of user interface design. They do, however, seem to be quite fond of designing user manuals in Microsoft Paint.
Every time a teacher hands me another one of your wretched creations with a hopeful and innocent gleam in their eye, my day is ruined. The bitter tears I would otherwise weep during the hours of anguish trying to get it to work are held back only by my hope that either you one day learn how to actually write software that isn’t a steaming river of effluence, or that you go bust. Frankly, at this point, I’d rather it was the latter.
Love and kisses,