Eat a balanced diet
A few years back, we took delivery of a batch of new mice for the computer labs. These Microsoft mice have 18 pages of English language instructions. 18 PAGES. For a mouse. I saved one at the time as a memento of this farce, and recently, I came across that forgotten relic at the bottom of a desk drawer.
Let’s get started, shall we?
After the innocuous front cover comes a whole page of instructions on plugging the mouse in, followed by many more pages of rubbish on good computer posture. Then it starts to go seriously off-topic around page 10:
Are you kidding me, Microsoft? You devote an entire page of a manual for a mouse on telling me how I should eat healthily and get some exercise? This has absolutely nothing to do with your product. Nothing. You even put a conclusion in, as if this somehow justifies the pages of effluence that precedes it. What kind of crack are you guys smoking in Redmond anyway?
Better yet, the front page – yes, the front page – of the manual has this diagram on it.
OK Microsoft, take a look carefully at step 1 in your diagram here. That’s right, it’s a diagram showing you how to plug the damned mouse in. Anyone with a mental age above 4 needs nothing more than this diagram, and yet here I am holding 109 pages (20ish pages in 5 different languages) of manual. If verbosity were a physical substance, this document would be 100% pure.
Microsoft make decent mice, but I’m not sure whether the manual makes me want to laugh incessantly or give up all hope for mankind.